I am alive again! (somewhat)

Warning: Long post for my journal purposes

These past couple of months quite honestly have been something I never want to experience again. Just after New Years day my back went out. This is not at all an unusual thing to happen to me. It happens at least once a year. So I took it easy for a couple of days like I always do thinking it would go away. No I was wrong it got worse and worse and worse. When I woke up with no feeling in my right foot and calf I decided it was time to seek professional help. So I called down to my trusted OB doctor to see if I could get into him. lucky me he was out of town. so they recommended that I go to an instacare and make sure it wasn't anything serious like blood clots and they made me an appointment for a week later. All was fine in the scary department luckily and they referred me to a physical therapist. There was so little they could do for me being pregnant. Not medication and a lot of the therapy could not be done either.

I was so blessed that when I finally got to see my OB doctor he refereed me to one of the best back doctors in the nation. Now I am a bit skeptical with back doctors all a lot of them want to do is surgery and that was the last thing I wanted to do. My back doctor is different. He thinks surgery is one of the last resorts for people. He was so refreshing and honest and very knowledgeable. He said that 95% of the time surgery is not needed and time will heal. At that point all I wanted was a quick fix. A quick fix is not what I was going to get. I ended up having a herniated disc and pinched nerve in my lower back. He gave me one dose of steroids, but that was all I could have. So we were crossing our fingers that it would work.

So I came home sicker than sick and with so much pain that protruded from my lower back all the way down my right side to my toes. I have NEVER been in so much pain in my whole life. I couldn't sleep at night, I couldn't concentrate long enough to read any books i barley could lay on the couch and somewhat enjoy a movie. It was a good month before I noticed even a little bit of improvement.

When I saw the back doctor again a month later he said that I was right where he wanted me to be I was at a tolerable pain level (according to him, I don't know how anyone can say that someone else is at a tolerable pain level) He said the fact that I was reading and sleeping again we were headed in the right direction. He told me the goal right now was to get this baby here safely, the back was a secondary problem. He said no lifting, turning, twisting, or bending. Now how to do tell a mother of three not to do that? Well I have the greatest mom in the whole wide world. I don't know how I would have done this without her. She has come up every week to help me so that I didn't' have to bend, lift, twist or turn. And I live in the greatest neighborhood of very service oriented people.

Right when i was starting to feel a bit better I took a turn for the worse. I slipped and fell on a wet spot on our kitchen floor. It took my feet out from under me and I landed on my right side bum and head. This was my breaking point, i couldn't do this anymore. I cried on the kitchen floor for about 30 min and didn't know how i was going to deal with all this, all of a sudden my pain was right back where we started. My sister had us out to dinner that next day on Sunday. we came home to this Easter Bucket full of Easter treats and a movie. Wow I can't even explain how excited my kids were. Seeing my kids with such excitement just boosted me up just enough to think that maybe I could get through this. I was in a lot of pain the next couple of days but with my great physical therapist she got me back to where I was before the fall and helped me realize that maybe I can get through this. Wow how simple things can impact us so much. After a good physical therapist appointment and a lot of rest my back was back to the tolerable level again.

I am finally getting feeling back into the tips of my toes. The pain is now at a tolerable level to my standards and my strength in my leg and foot are starting to come back. The goal now is to not irritate that disc and nerve again until at least after the baby is delivered. In all hopes I hope it just cures itself completely before I deliver. I am trying not to do to much. I am reminded when I start to do to much because the excruciating pain comes back strong. I have a constant dull pain and still the numbness, but I guess pain is all relative when you are in so much pain before. My mom is still helping out each week to help prevent a set back. She is truly the best mom anyone could ever ask for. I hope I can be as good as mom to my kids as she is to all of us.

There is so many negative things that I could remember from this horrible horrible experience but I want to remember the good things that came from it and helped me learn how much a simple thing can mean so much to others. Simple acts of kindness made me feel the love of my Savior so many times. A few I want to remember:

A Neighbor of mine randomly without being asked brought over the cutest barn animals and barn for my kids to play with. Wow what a simple and easy thing for her to do and little did she know that she saved me those next few days where I didn't hear my kids whine that we couldn't go anywhere or say that they were bored. What a toy that is new to the kids eyes and playing is a such a wonderful thing.

Another Neighbor came over to visit and came in walking into the house with a loaf of homemade bread. Little did she know that my mom had asked me the night before what I wanted to have done or do tomorrow. Well my pregnant cravings came to me and I said she could make some homemade bread. The look on her exhausted face was priceless as she said I can't do that! so I accepted it and decided I would have Brad stop at Great Harvest on his way home from work. Well Brad didn't have to stop. The Bread was devoured mainly by me and every bite was so appreciated. Little did she know that she was answering a craving of a pregnant lady.

We have had so many thoughtful dinners brought in. These helped out so much! My mom ended up having to leave early one week for some other problems happening. She worked so hard to get everything done before she left. The only thing she hadn't had time to figure out was what we were going to eat for dinner. This was a night we didn't have scheduled to have dinner brought in. All of sudden there is a knock at the front door. There stands a neighbor with dinner in hand. She told us she just felt like she wanted to bring dinner tonight. little did she know that it was needed more than she knew. My mom was able to get other stuff done because she didn't have to worry about getting something ready for dinner.

I just hope I can become a selfless person like all the great people I live by. They are all such great examples to me and I hope I can be as in tune with the spirit as they are. I am so grateful for all the help I have received since this happened.

If you made it this far you get a gold star! Hopefully I can keep getting better and better and never have to do this ever again.